Since when are school an education in any way related?
If you happened to be depressed, bored, troubled, or just plain sick of the school system I highly recommend you check out this site that lists alternatives as well as a lot of opinion articles and a support forum.

This derrives from one of my other xanga blogs long before I even discovered blogspot, but honestly. I feel brainwashed in the school system. The system actually worked relatively well for me in some ways before my little downward spiral into all the shit I'm currently sitting in, but then rather than act as a distraction, school just fueled the fire and eventually turned into one of the major stress factors in my life. It's an odd enviorment when you think about it. You sit down at a desk and listen to someone talk and you try that whole hour to absorb all the information given you, then a bell rings, everyone rises out of their seats, regroup in the halls and go to a different room and repeat the process with an entirely different subject to listen to. Does this not strike anyone else as a sort of farm prison? I mean we really might as well be sheep or cows in the shuffle. Being moved from one class to the next to the next. I like to learn, I like to talk, I like to discuss ideas. Philosophy club afterschool...man, just straight Salon discussion on everything from questions about God and life to the war in Iraq to how advertisers underestimate the audience in the world of marketing, how school is just to keep us off the streets and a tool used to teach us to sit in little rows and behave (and that comes from the teacher who directed it, awesome guy). Everything from whehter slang is language evolving or humans being sloppy. You learn a lot in there. I learned a lot in there. And I mean really, what books to I read for fun in my spare time? Blink, a book that discusses the quantifying of everday observation data and the subconscious patterns found in relationships, The Feminine Mystique, talking about feminism and women in culture, Bitch: In Praise of Difficult Women, with notes on depression, culture, feminism, and plitics, The World is Flat, how rather than the world being round culturally we're all conforming to an international standard, The Golden Ratio, the number phi at work in nature, The Math Instinct, the study of how every living creature knows and computes math without a second thought from a dog watching the toss of a frisbee to a human judging the size of a crowd, and other random works of nonfiction that are absolutely delightfully enlighting as well as fun to read.

Well...that's some good stuff. Mind you, I won't learn how to work with quadratic equations or sigma notation in many of those books. And I guess I'm not very likely to learn just how to make an explosive device with common household materials, not to say there isn't a book out there on it. Can't we just homeschool ourselves?

Well...no. I mean I can for the next two years before college with some assisted guidance and very basic and flexibile guidelines. As long as I pass that SAT test with awesome scores, which I know I will...my PSAT scores came back great without any studying whatsoever, I'll get into college and I'll be a functional member of society. But I'll be willing to bet that the science lab and language subjects make for a better classroom setting. Because working with dangerous chemicals that could burn a hole through your skin is probably not a smart thing to do in your kitchen, and interactive learning always seems to be the best way to learn a language.

So we do need school, but it shouldn't be required. It's an unrealistic setting in which everyone is expected to excel at everything. How logical is that? It isn't good enough anymore to rock the socks off your professor in one subject then not understand anything next period. These days it's all about being well-rounded. Well fuck it. I'm pretty well-rounded by nature and I plan on a liberal arts college, but that shouldn't suggest that that's the right thing to do for everyone else.

I don't know. I'm confused and I'm pissed and I'm ranting myself in circles. The point of it all? The system is fucked.
- posted by Happy Camper @ 5:49 PM (1) comments links to this post

Downright Batty
Bat
Genera: Pteropus
Collective Term: A cauldron of bats
Description
This is a decidedly nonconformist creature, for as an airborne personality, the bat tends to look down at the conventions of the ground animals. And yet, since it is not a true bird and having not mastered the art of smooth controlled flight, it often appears awkward in social situations. (Hence the term -- acting batty). But as compensation for this social ungainliness, many bat personalities sport a built-in radar, which enables them to intuitively read the motivations of others.

Identifying bat personalities is not difficult. Being nocturnal creatures, they come alive at night and can be spotted in underground clubs or dimly lit bars. They prefer the sanctuary of dark clothing and dark corners, and you'll never see a bat sporting a heavy tan. These are intelligent, spiritual, creative individuals who use their full range of senses (other than their poor eyesight) to carefully navigate their way through life.

Bats have a habit of flitting in and out of social situations, swooping down to interact briefly with others before quickly flying off to resume their bat lives. Unassertive and aloof, they'll take flight at the first hint of a confrontation to seek comfort in their personal spaces that are decorated in unusual but expressive ways. The bat's sixth sense gives it a number of advantages in its work, and its insightful nature enables it to understand others better than it understands itself. In the romance department, bats are enamored with the idea of love more than they are with its colder realities. Decidedly untraditional, they are prone to flights of extraordinary fantasy -- and it's not the traditional Ken and Barbie type of romance that tickles its fancy either. It's the Bram Stoker kind: dark, moody and gothic.Bat personalities have an enormous sense of loyalty and if you ever do a favor for a bat, it will never relax until it has paid you back. In fact, in nature, the bat is the only animal (other than man) to demonstrate true altruism when unrelated individuals will unselfishly offer food to a cave-mate without expectation anything in return. This powerful sense of quid pro quo is one of the defining characteristics of the bat personality and anyone should consider themselves lucky to be in a bat's good graces.

Bats have no strong yearning for parenthood, for the kind of ego gratification that comes with having one's own children doesn't appeal to its karmic temperament.

They are instead quite content to satisfy their maternal or paternal instincts by adopting or merely baby-sitting. If they do have children, they prove to be perfunctory parents: methodical yet unconventional . Still, bats place great emphasis on ethics and morality and insist that their children be indoctrinated in the values of good citizenship.

Careers and Hobbies
Psychiatrist Artist
Social Worker Archeologist
Writer Musician

Socializing Philosophy
- posted by Happy Camper @ 2:24 PM (0) comments links to this post

Hitting the Shelves
So my Mom really wants to write a book and pitch her idea to one of the editors at the conference. Sex Addiction for Dummies Christians. And I really want her to go for it even though she seems somewhat reluctant. She was asked to include why her book would be distinctively different from other books on the subject that targeted that audience. Problem is, christian authors don't too often talk about sex addiction in any way that it helpfull or informative. I think my Mom has a great start, I wish she was as optimistic about it as I am.

So this got Lia thinking that it would be cool to write her own mini-series of Guess What: Christians... books for teens that may or may not include:

• Christians Cut
• Christians Aren't All Virgins
• Christians Are Lesbians
  
• Christians Doubt
• Christians Say Fuck
• Christians Watch Porn
• Christians Are Moody
• Christians Follow Evolution
  
• Christians Drink

Because really, there are a ton of us who do. It doesn't matter if we're postmodern, evangelical, or catholic. We are all at risk and ill-equipped. Our subculture says you can avoid it and all will be well. Truth is no matter how much you fucking pray, read your bible, or attend youth group, chances are you will have one or more of these issues. We focus so much on how to step around the hole that nobody really has time to get around to how we might dig ourselves out or call 911 when somebody does. Really, we're sort of like ostriches with our heads in the ground. How healthy is that?

But yeah, my Mom was talking with the youth leader at the camp and brought up how naive everyone in our old evangelical community was when a girl in her preteen sunday school class brought up that she cut. The youth leader looked at her and asked what she meant by cutting? My Mom dropped the word emo, the leader tilted her head quizzically and asked for the definition of emo.

It's her fucking job to know these things!

Sometimes, I think if everyone in the church acted more like people in rehab, Lia would be a much happier person.
- posted by Happy Camper @ 5:42 PM (1) comments links to this post

Bad Reputation
Lia: Oh, you're reading A Million Little Pieces?
New Friend: Yeah, this book is amazing. I mean yeah, there was the whole Frey controversey but I really like his style of writing.
Lia: Yeah, I got a few chapters in and although I was pretty much hooked, I had some other stuff for school and gave it out to a friend, never got it back...something like that. His style really intriuged me though.
New Friend: Yeah...me too.
Lia: [thinks of brilliant conversation starter] Hey! You know, I actually stayed at Hazelden a while. The center he describes in the book, with the tunnels and everything. I've stayed there!
New Friend: Holy Crap! You stayed at the same rehabilitation center as James Frey?
Lia: Um...keey your voice down?
New Friend: No way, that's sort of coo-...wait a second, how old are you?


For reference it was a family program I was attending. My stepdad was the one in rehab, but I didn't quite make it clear at first. Really quite amusing.
- posted by Happy Camper @ 1:14 AM (0) comments links to this post

"My Humps"
I've had the song stuck in my head. It's catchy, it's groovy. Whatever.

Lia's thought process has been rather odd lately. I don't know where this impulse came from or what the hell triggered it or even if it's common. But I'm just suddenly intrigued with the male psychological state during masturbation. It has literally been on my mind for some time. I ask the oddest questions when I'm trying to get to sleep at night really. Maybe it was some subconscious trigger last week at some crude joke.

It seems rather spontaneous, but really...it's almost like I feel impulsed to go out and take a collective survey or study on it. It's almost like an obsessive random thought. I don't even know how to word the questions really. Maybe it's time to hit the Kinsey books or something. It sort of pains me to know I can never fully understand or relate to something, even if it is those no good guys I always rant about? Yes.

On another random train of thought heading west, lesbians! Well, okay, guilty pleasure for me happens to be Degrassi: The Next Generation. I totally ripped on the show before and I tore it limb from limb and how it was so overdramatic and how it was a soap opera for teens, and how much I hate soap operas. But really...it's just a good show. I watched it once, I was hooked. Now I tune in now and then and...wow, Paige and Lexi? I love the plot! I've never liked Paige and I've had some beefs with Lexi even though you can't help but love that attitude she has going on. But them together just makes me want to jump up and down and congratulate them and go run out and find myself one of my best friends and get them to agree to take it a step further. But hey, Lia's been unusually horny, moody, and emotional lately. We all know that that's a bad mix. The people with the perks might be rather fond of it, until she breaks down in the bathroom crying about something even she can't pinpoint and justify her off-the-wall behavior with.

Lia goes to a writing convention this weekend to learn how she and her Mommy might go about publishing a book. For those of you just tuning in to the Lia channel, Lia and her Mom have an uncannilly good and open relationship even though the family is pretty much down the tube and Lia is on a ton of drugs for a bunch of illnesses. We're looking to sort of write a book for parents and kids both dealing with depression. This doesn't just influence me, it's a burden on my Mom. Knowing that I'm a burden on my Mom puts me on a huge unneeded guilt trip. Sometimes we hate eachother, we work it out. If she's repeating herself (my largest pet peeve, her bad habit) and rewording the message over and over again I tell her to shut the fuck up and she's fine with it. We share a room and all that fun stuff. My friends and others in depression support communities just don't seem to be as lucky. We're hoping to sort of give others some insight as well as do a collective memoir. Seeing how I'm home-schooled, it would do wonders for a college application. Especially to Reed. So how do inexperienced writers turn themselves into authors, get started on a book together, and get it on the shelves? That's what the convention is for. Pretty cool I get in this thing for free.

Why have I not been updating? I've dedicated myself entirely to running missions in The Matrix Online. I don't really have a life to put on hold, this has however been hell for my blog productivity. I hope you understand.
- posted by Happy Camper @ 12:44 AM (0) comments links to this post

10 Reasons Why Liberal Men are Better in Bed
Fabulous. I must admit, the credit belongs to this lovely site. I thought I'd put it up all the same though.

1. Conscience! A liberal man knows it’s not all about him. His getting off is contingent on yours. You don’t have to make him pancakes to get him to go down on you.

2. Tears! Liberal men cry— just not during sex. They acknowledge that there are some things worth getting weepy about, such as everything the federal government has done in the past six years.

3. A sense of perspective. A good liberal man realizes that what goes on in politics does have an impact on what goes on in the bedroom.

4. A sense of humor. Republican men may laugh at jokes, but liberal men are better at making jokes. Case in point: Jon Stewart. They didn’t ask a conservative comedian to host the Academy Awards. (Are there any conservative comedians?)

5. Foreplay. Liberal men are so intellectually sexy that everything is foreplay. Republicans might get started in the cab after dinner, but the liberal man’s in-depth knowledge of (and vehement opposition to) various state-level abortion restrictions has got me all hot and bothered before we’ve ordered our entrees.

6. Size. It is absolutely, positively, 100 percent true that Republicans are bigger dicks who trigger the gag reflex.

7. Efficiency. See #5.

8. Largesse. Liberal men will never drag you to a restaurant you don’t like, order your meal for you, and then leave a terrible tip. If they do pay for your dinner, they’ll never demand a blow job in return. (But they were such great conversationalists at dinner, you’ll probably be into fellatio, anyway.)

9. Wooing techniques. Liberal men do indeed send emails and text messages that say things like "I can’t wait to eat your pussy." Unlike Republicans, they actually mean it.

10. Nightstand reading. You will never find a Republican reading She Comes First. Liberal men understand you want to be with someone who knows how to find your clit.

- posted by Happy Camper @ 3:29 PM (0) comments links to this post

Strawfeminism
So, this here I find incredibly amusing. Bitch Ph.D. directed me yet again in her blog to this delightful little blog against strawfeminism.

I read along and was horrified to discover that these people unveiled my secret man-hating ways to declare me a nontrue feminist. That may or may not be a bad joke, the truest trait I think I keep is the grudge against sisterhood. I am not against it but I sure as hell haven't participated in much of it, I think because all the places in my rual hometown initiated it through tea, beauty pagents, and scrapbooking--none of which interest me much.

Anyways, it amused me.

Oh, sidenote:

V for Vendetta was spectacular. Me and my polar opposite republican both friend think so, so you know it must be true. Better than Fight Club? Possibly.
- posted by Happy Camper @ 9:30 PM (1) comments links to this post

Sex and Drugs
Lia's on a Charter track now. So she doesn't have to deal with school, she can independently pursue her interests, meet her credits, and get her high school diploma. She's rather encouraged as to the progress of her own life and well-being continues to look up.

She is however getting more and more worried about bigger things. Reading over some of Bitch Ph.D.'s links, she just tilts her head and wonders what is wrong with the world. I can understand pro-life people. I really can, I used to be one of them. I myself lean pro-choice and am all for a woman making her own decisions, I would like to keep that freedom while still respecting those who think differently. Pro-life extremists are another matter, rather hard to tolerate. I can respect their take on it but some of their methods are just shameless and downright horrible.

I do not however understand the argument against contraception. That I don't believe should be anyone's business and I don't believe that thought process should be publically encouraged in any way. If people naturally believe that contraception is against their religion, fine by me, I'm not going to talk them into it. But I find this to be a bit extreme:

But NRFC doesn't even address abortion; its sole purpose is to "prove" that the pill and the IUD cause health problems and destroy women's fertility, that condoms lead to the spread of sexually transmitted diseases by making people believe that sex can be completely safe, that contraception destroys marriages by rendering sex an act of pleasure rather than one of procreation.

This really to me sounds like a load of bullshit. Sex is an act of pleasure and one of procreation. You kill two birds with one stone if you like, or you can go one way or the other. Now I do believe in only having one partner, whether it's for the rest of your life or just during the time you're together (which I would hope would be long enough to really know eachother) I'm going to remain pretty firm when I say it should only be exercised in committed relationships. Others are free to do as they please, but the sanctity still holds true in my mind. Just a random thought there.

Point being, I think contraception is one of the best things to happen to this world and marriage, I can't see in any way how it would destroy it.

Other states quick to follow South Dakota's interpertation on women's rights? I dearly hope not.

Lia was called a slut lately, and the name-caller shall remain nameless. It still bothers me. Not the personal affront on it, it was all in good games and perhaps even foreplay. But it still really bugs me how women can go after intimacy and get a black mark on their record while men go about it in a slightly more degrading way and get a notch on their staff to wave about proudly. It makes me wonder if we should praise sluts and whores in such a way that we might encourage girls to be open with their sexuality. I somewhat doubt that's the right route to take but like communism potentionally being ideal, it's just another thought to throw out there.

On an up note, The Colbert Report is by far my new favorite show.

- posted by Happy Camper @ 6:28 PM (0) comments links to this post

Oops, I did It Again
I broke down in tears and put myself in pain.

Fuck, Lia can just not seem to harness her emotional energy and put it towards her homework. So it looks for now like the once platinum A student is either going to be stuck in summer school or repeating her junior year. Because she has been working her ass off to make up for the months she's missed and with the move across the country coming up in a few days and the fact that her transcripts need to be somewhat complete and sent over in a couple days... Well, it is not going to happen.

Maybe in summer school, but Lia has other comittments lined up this summer. Bummer. I suppose I could graduate like a semester late in December or something. I don't know. I think I can recover math, psychology, photography, and english. But they don't like it when you aren't there for chem labs and ask for a pass because you know the textbook. They also have trouble passing you if you haven't been there much for french conversations.

In other news, South Dakota's in for some bad reviews. Abortions, illegal with no exceptions even if the mother's health is at risk. So how long until this freedum virus eats uour country from the inside out?

Oooooh Canada...
- posted by Happy Camper @ 12:03 PM (0) comments links to this post

Oh yeah.
So I woke up and went to class today. Two classes plus staying after school to make up a test. This was an incredibly productive day for me. I know it sounds sad but this is just something I can't take for granted lately. Chemistry was fine, I know the material, I totally aced the test after school but... french today...

It was downright hell. I was stuck in a new seat next to this girl, there was 44 people in the classroom with constant bickering between the teacher and the students and the girl next to me was convinced she was dying and kept going on about those motherfuckers over at our rival school who "had the nerve to ask her to not sit in the stadium aisle because it was a fire hazard." Now Lia isn't one for authority, but that's just downright annoying when people do that. And oh my word, those horrible horrible people. How dare they speak down to you like that. Why the very nerve. The problem was everyone else was agreeing with her. But she was cursing left and right and was so damn loud it's like, "You know, it's people like you who make me downright terrified of coming to school."

Call me arrogant and all that type of thing, or narrow minded, or just plain impatient. I've been pissy today and now I come home and get online to chat and my ex is trying to take out his shit on me after I pretty much talked him through not overdosing last night, and getting on my case about my lack of shaving routines? And then when I get pissy and fed up, he goes and acts like I'm being irrational?

I'm chemically imbalanced. I'm allowed to have my days. With all the shit I went through trying to keep his act together can he really turn back and blame me for not paying enough attention to my own mental health?

Ugh. Just ugh. I'm sorry if I'm intolerent at times but it's not like it goes completely unjustified.
- posted by Happy Camper @ 8:36 PM (0) comments links to this post